• Ruth Kannai and AlonAya RiceARDepartment of Counseling and Human Development, Haifa University, Mount Carmel, Haifa, Israel..
• Department of Family Medicine, Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, Beersheba, Israel rkannai@gmail.com.
• Ann Fam Med. 2021 Sep 1; 19 (5): 460-462.

AbstractThe story depicts my close relationship with Mr Schwartz, an elderly Holocaust survivor, spanning over 20 years. During those years, he became a significant patient to me; during my many home visits, we often shared significant conversations about life. When Mr Schwartz was diagnosed at age 90 with advanced cancer, we made an alliance whereby I would represent him in his decision not to receive medical interventions. For the next 4 years until his death, Mr Schwartz pleaded with me to kill him, which I could not do either legally or morally.Over the years; I was moved by his honesty, frustrated at my inability to offer him relief or a sense of meaning, and pensive, as I would inevitably reflect on existential issues pertaining to myself and my dear ones. Mourning his loss was complex, for I was very close to him, yet not a part of his family. With whom can we physicians share our sadness at the loss of a person with whom we never actually spent a holiday or family dinner?© 2021 Annals of Family Medicine, Inc.

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